Loving Mother

TW: child abuse/neglect, violence, ableism, religious trauma

And if she cooked 100 thousand meals for her family but used a wooden spoon to physically abuse her children, she was not a loving mother.

And if she wore out her joints doing the laundry on time every time but would use words to make her children feel ugly, she was not a loving mother

And if she kept her house sparkling with the last drops of elbow grease but made the house an emotional minefield rather than a safe space, she was not a loving mother

And if she helped with the homework until her children were at the top of the class but used fear, intimidation and threats of physical abuse, she was not a loving mother

And if she communicates in ableist slurs and derogatory remarks, that is verbal abuse, she is not a loving mother

And if she stifles her children's aspirations with responsibility and respectability she is not a loving mother

And if she forces her children to participate in the religious dogma that will deem them unworthy as they are, she is not a loving mother

And if she minimizes, covers up and denies her children's abilities and disabilities, she is not a loving mother

And if she insists on cisheteronormativity, and despises her children learning about their sexuality and gender, she is not a loving mother

And if she regularly utilizes the cold shoulder, silent treatment, gaslighting and stonewalling to dominate her children, she is not a loving mother

And if she prioritizes accolades, awards and capitalist productivity above emotional wellbeing and intimacy, she is not a loving mother

And if she picks apart her children's appearance, is fatphobic and colorist, she is not a loving mother

And if she fails to recognize, respect and give space for her children's autonomy but instead dictates their lives to them, she is not a loving mother.